Tags: life



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T H E__D E V I C E__H A S__B E E N__M O D I F I E D

Hi there.

If you're here, you've come here from elsewhere.

Welcome to my thoughts.

If you've come here from the Myst: The Motion Picture Production Blog or elsewhere, yes, this is the new location of my blog. This is actually a far older blog than Scheming Hot Tea, started when I was in high school. It is also a great deal more informal and tends to consist mostly of me whining about my life.


Though, now that Scheming Hot Tea, I find myself still wanting a place to more formal in my posts.

Yes, there are friendslocked posts. Most of them are private things, consisting of me whining even more vehemently about my life (for what else are blogs for?) Some of them are fiction writings or requests for help with papers, which are locked to keep people from ganking my work. It's happened before, it's not happening again.

As usual, I find myself being a bit TL;DR (Too Long; Didn't Read for those who don't speak Internet)

So yes. Hello, and welcome.
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So, despite that setback in my studying schedule, I at least 1. canceled my grad school appointment for Friday (it wasn't going to work out anyway, the time was all wrong), 2. Got my creative writing homework done for tomorrow and 3. am halfway through the first reading for Friday. It still means that I will have to kick myself tomorrow. And well, one set of questions on the Verbal isn't so bad? I just... you know that you need to stop for the night when your average score suddenly plummets from 85% to 76%. Yeah.

Aside: I am not normally a fan of Virginia Woolf, but The Waves is some of the most goddamn brilliant prose-poetry I have ever read. There are some sentences which make me drift and soar; and if I'm not careful I'm going to start writing in that style.

I might try it anyway. This is good stream-of-consciousness. Mmmm.

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Well, the Marvel apps are in, and I just got a proper confirmation email from a real human being saying that they've got my resume and are looking it over (same person who I was asking fiddly questions of). Fingers crossed.

Applying for Wolf Trap next, then running out to Oregon to visit Portland State (AAAAAAAAAA PLANE TRIP AAAAA WHAT DO I PACK?! AAAAAAAAAA) and running back home. I've been very bad about working on my portfolio and looking up grad schools lately. Oops.

I also had a wonderful idea for a road novel, namely, "get a pilot, get in a small plane and fly from city to city, shacking up with people I have met through the internet and elsewhere and write about each city I stay in". Sadly it would cost more money than I have to do something outrageous like that.

Uh... and becuase I feel like it, here, listen to Jupiter singing:

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it's bizarrely soothing and I can't stop listening to it.

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My internet hobbies take up too much time, and I should drop them all, but I can't. Bugger.

I haven't forgotten your flash fiction either. It's... flash in the very strictest sense of the word. I think one I did in one sentence. I am posting it AS WE SPEAK and I apologize for the lack of quality all around (I can't write anymore sob)

seriously I am so so behind and bad on my original fiction and on my creative nonfiction. I knew I should have just done the Associated Content job thingy but...

and I don't know how to get an agent

or how to get a house

or deal with my bills or get into graduate school or make my own doctor's appointments or get a life and why is the world large and scary?

In brighter news, I hung out at Folklife and bought the best socks. The Welsh apparently make the best socks. Mine are in my school colors. Which is winful.

EVERYONE WE SHOULD. HANG OUT SOMETIME. I think Videogames Live is at Wolf Trap on the 10th and I have no idea if we can get tickets or indeed what day the 10th is! woo! but we should try.

Web design class

It would really help me a lot if I knew what my actual assigment was, and if the Blackboard page did not simply say "Finish Friday's assigment."

Yes, I wrote stuff down. None of it makes sense. As usual. And my partners in this project aren't helping me to remember.

This is why I hate working on group projects. I never know what I'm supposed to do, and if I mess up due to my own inability to pay attention, everyone suffers. Fantastic.

Got no Sem work done today becuase it was too nice outside and didn't read much either. Applied to one job and am behind on that too. Missed an important appointment earlier this week due to... I don't even know.

My life falls apart in slow spirals again and again and again and again and again.


If the paper gets finished. No. When the paper gets finished, it will be rocking. I honestly think that I may have done something that an undergrad should not be doing. I chose a book that frightens my own professors with its complexities.

I chose it. And now?

I own it.

I have unwound the labyrinth and I have seen its end; I understand this work on a level that I have seldom understood anything outside fandom (haha, oh dear.)

I have my fears. But they do not have me.

... and now to fail to work some more as I drown myself in dreams and, once again, forget to live.

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Man, Haunted (an album by Poe) really, really fucks with you if you've read House of Leaves.

Over the immediate omgwtfbbq. Now I just.

Have to write.

But first.

I'm going to breathe a little.


Did not get the National Zoo internship.

Wolf Trap confirmed that they got my application.

Still need to apply for more internships.

Can't becuase I have too much crap.

Broke down in Reacting today becuase I didn't have my argument together becuase I'd been busy working on Senior Sem yesterday.


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Wow. Comicon was apparently a REALLY good idea. I'm just sad that I didn't know beforehand that they take resumes and writing samples at panels there, otherwise I would have gotten a portfolio. I DID learn that with my current major/minor I am ideally suited to work as a comic book editor. Holy shit yo.

I'm also bloody exhausted and completely behind on homework. oooops.